Most of you know that, though I was raised in a Christian home, I consider myself agnostic and do not frequent any church. People should be free to worship in their own way.
All the same, if there is a heaven, our mom is there and in good company. It hurts too much to think that nobody else ever heard her beautiful laughter or experienced her warm hugs and witnessed her kind demeanour. She was also wise and smart, and my everlasting regret is that I did not treat her with respect when I was 13 and 14, and then she was gone.
People tell me that she knew I loved her, but I’m not certain that she did. If I could have Mom back for a day or the rest of my life, or a decent lifespan for her without the lupus, I would tell her all the time.
Whenever I am less than 100% benevolent to another human or an animal, if I shout or display anger or frustration without just cause, I silently say an apology to Mom and discuss it, in my head, with her. If warranted, I apologize to the target as well.
I don’t recall many displays of ire from my mother other than what I elicited. I’m so sorry and wish I could go back. I eventually became a better person and hope she knows.
Mom would be so proud of our daughters and grandchildren. She would have liked both Pat and Gary and understood my difficult decisions.
Gosh, I miss you. I miss you more than I miss anyone.
This is a favourite video. I’m not sure I have the skills or fortitude to make a slide show of my favourite “angels” … I cry buckets even when I try to make an Internet page of pets who have “left us”.