Just Life

Rue and regret …

This week was my “littlest” daughter’s convocation: she achieved her Master of Science degree.

I didn’t ask the exact date and time, and didn’t sense that she needed us to attend. WHY IN HELL did I not go anyway?

Now that I see her grad pictures, I’m so angry with myself. I could have gone, could afford the trip to Victoria, would have slept in the car if need be!

Instead I stayed home and dealt with  matts and maggots, and reflected about what a quiet weekend and week  it was in the Pet Hostel. Gary would have been happy to look after things.

When I showed Gary the grad pictures just now, he said, “I thought you had planned to go?”, and I just went somewhere more private and cried. I had sent a cash gift to celebrate the scholastic achievement, but I had never made a plan to go.

No, my negligence hasn’t resulted in any injury to my child, at least not physical. But it is an awful thing to feel that you should have done something, but didn’t, and then not be able to turn back the clock.

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So … I have talked to Kim and I am feeling better. She really had not expected family members to attend, nor did she watch for anyone to “surprise” her in Victoria.

I still wish I had gone, but can get past the idea that I’m a terrible disappointment as a parent.

Take care, everyone.

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