My late friend Sharon Griffith once remarked to me that she had decided that some friendships have a “lifespan”. At the end of darling Sharon’s life, our friendship was still as strong as ever; she was referring to certain others.
The friendship to which I referred a few blog posts ago, my friendship with Dorothy, seems to have ended with a thud. She phoned me this afternoon to tell me that things will never be the same between us, and that she will never be the same now that I gave away her dog.
I went back over the details with her … what she had said many, many times, “Come and get this dog and sell her (or find her a home, or give her away… all these variations). She stated to me that she had told me that she’d changed her mind before she went to Toronto, and when she came back from Toronto the dog had been given away.
I averred that the last thing I’d heard on the subject was what she had said over and over. She had hinted about me getting $200 for the dog, but I did not ask for any money. Point of fact, I didn’t go looking for a home for the dog … a loving person came forward after hearing “word of mouth” (word of Dorothy’s mouth!) that Tippy needed a new home.
While Dorothy raled at me on the phone, I DID fight back. I think there is no reasoning with my old, former friend. I told her all that I’ve told you, plus reminding her that she had just sold her acreage and that I didn’t think she would suffer without someone paying an adoption fee. That, evidently, was rude of me.
She was so bitter. She said, “I didn’t get as much for the farm as you think I did.”, and “I could have paid you for boarding all those times, but that was YOUR idea.”. There was nothing I could say that made sense to her or that she would accept.
Lesson learned, I guess. Although I did not solicit anywhere for a home for Tippy, next time I will not have ANY part in such a situation. I feel like going to Dorothy’s apartment and throwing $200 at her, or onto the table at least, but that would not repair the damage. Nah. Bad idea.
I’m trying to accept that it is true … nothing will ever be the same. No matter how patient I am with an elderly, frail pal, my friendship doesn’t mean anything. Even if she chose to forgive me, I believe I will continue to avoid Dorothy or any conversation about the dog. In the very unlikely event that Tippy’s new owner volunteers to give back the dog, I will still not want to have anything to do with any of it!
Dorothy ended the conversation on the phone, “Well, I guess I will have to find someone to tell what’s on my mind.”.
So, there’s my rant. My heart feels so heavy and tears are threatening to spill over. Thanks for listening.
This is what I found at the building site today!
What a day of mixed emotion. Some time spent grooming a cooperative dog, a visit to the “job site”, and a fight with someone.
p.s. Bandit got a summer haircut today. He is a miniature australian shepherd… so sweet!