Just Life

Ego building …


It’s not that I really want my ego boosted, but that I appreciate those who help me build my own confidence. I try to do this for others, too, as I’m able, but that is another subject.

I booked time on my rather quiet schedule for coffee in town this morning. When time and the shirking of “work” allows, I like to visit the Beanery (sometimes Morels).

Today I joined a full contingent of locals in the lounge area of The Beanery, and I was able to visit for a few minutes with my friend Dorothy. There was not really enough room on the sofa for me, and I was feeling very warm, plus everyone was talking at once, so I excused myself and sat with one of my favourite people in the world, Craig. Soon others joined us, and the morning turned into a marvellous session of cleverness and hilarity.

I won’t lie… I was delighted when the talk turned to home building and design. Susanne D. was so very encouraging and helpful and promised to lend me a STACK of books on planning smallish homes, once she retrieves them from the Coast. She says I may have these for the winter.

Eventually, it seemed high time I started for home; fuelled by enthusiasm and six cups of coffee, I stopped at the local building supply centre. I thought they might have some design books that I hadn’t pilfered from them yet.

Ricco came around a corner, and I matter-of-factly chirped, I’m planning a new build and looking for inspiration. He asked a few questions, enough to know what size of house that Susan and I will dream up, then said, “Follow me.” .

Ricco strode ahead of me, stopping to pick up a software program from the shelf, asking, “Are you very computer savvy?”. Then we went to the office of the other partner in the hardware business, Tony. As I caught up, I missed what Ricco said to Tony, but Tony asked, “Who??”, to which Ricco affirmed, “Ann!”. Somehow I felt like I was ushered into a sanctum of some greatness, a hallowed space where the most important decisions and impressions are made. Yes… I realize that I am pathetically easy to impress, but there it is.

The two men proceeded to ask thoughtful questions and give advice backed by experience. Their family has built quite a few houses in our town, many just on speculation. They told me that Susan and I had a sound idea about the kind of house we were planning. I offered, “I’m so enthused, I wish I could build FOUR! I wish I could score another vacant lot right now and move a modular home onto it!”, they didn’t scoff or even smirk. At no time did the brothers suggest I was getting ahead of myself or carried away. They said that I had retained an amazing contractor. You get the idea. I thanked them for their time, and said that I would blame THEM when I couldn’t sleep AGAIN tonight.

The visit at the hardware store gave me some encouragement, got me out of a bit of a “stall” or mental block, put wind in my sails and a spring in my stride. I’m in danger of thinking I’m more important than I actually am, of getting too hefty an ego. It’s refreshing to feel the bolstered confidence. I have had a history (long ago) of being told that anything I wanted “couldn’t be done”… every…damn…time. That my ideas didn’t make sense or that they were actually stupid. That’s the short version. How uplifting to think, instead, “If you can envision it, you can do it…”. As I keep planning, dreaming and scheming, I also have to listen to advice and to reason, keep a close eye on the bank account. It might not always be evident, but I do take Gary’s feelings and opinions into account.

So there’s where I’m at. I just demolished what MIGHT have been my fall project, though the voice … several voices… of reason prevailed. I should do some housework, bookwork, or even renovation right here at home! As I told Gary this afternoon, “I should get some WORK done, while I’m doing all this thinking.”

I did do a modicum of work, then some welcome company came and we had coffee with Bailey’s, and warm cake, and now I have supper in the oven and am having a wee dram while talking to you.

I love you for visiting my Blog. Hope your lives are fulfilling and happy too.

– Ann

2 thoughts on “Ego building …

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