I shouldn’t write about this in my public blog, my only blog. However, this is my place to vent, and I speak only the truth, and I will vent with a conscience.
Gary came home from Manitoba after visiting his mom (prime objective), and after participating in a short canoe trip and camp reunion and several great visits with friends. I missed my dear soulmate, but he needed the trip and time off.
The visit with his mom did not go well. I’m not interested in “bashing” my mother-in-law, nor anyone, but that woman is not well. Gary negotiated a sort of mine field every single time they got together, every conversation a trap (a deke toward an explosion). When his mom kept complaining, as usual, about family members forsaking her, disappointing or neglecting her, Gary tried to discuss consequences of her words and actions in the past. That is only a hint of what has happened, even considering that Gary is one of the most diplomatic people I know.
After Gary got home… such a happy reunion… we discussed many things about his visit in Winnipeg. Basically, his mom cannot accept any responsibility for what she says, and claims that she will never forgive Gary (for pointing out her culpability).
Then he said to me, “And the ring? It’s going back.”. This is a ring that Toby had designed and had created by a jeweller, out of her wedding set. When she sent it to Gary about 8 years ago, he presented it to me. When I thanked my mother-in-law for the beautiful gift, she replied, “Oh, I THOUGHT he’d give it to you.” She said this without sounding surprised or begrudging, but it left me wondering if she really intended her oldest granddaughter, Gary’s Beth, to have it. I thought I’d enjoy it for a few years and ensure that Beth received it.
Evidently, as I’m told, Toby regrets giving the ring away… to anyone. It’s not about ME, it’s about the ring. It is not about ME, it is about her feelings about the past. I don’t understand how anyone can do this, and I don’t understand how she wants the ring taken away from me and sent back to her, all without mentioning it to me. Would she have asked Beth for it? I doubt it! It’s NOT about me.
I adore this piece of jewellery, but I cannot feel the same way about it, or my mother-in-law, considering how she has hurt and distressed her entire family.
I feel like sending it back all melted down, or resized far too big or too small. Or sending it directly to Beth. You know I won’t do anything other than sending the ring back, even in the tiny satin pouch it arrived in.
She can HAVE the fucking ring back. It’s not about ME; it’s not even about the ring.
Thank you for visiting and letting me vent.